March 2, 2013


thanks to Bat Shit Records for this introduction

They said to send the monkey. Instead you decided to strap your helmet and boots on and jump right into the galactic deep end. Never mind that your vessel hasn't been thoroughly tested for skull crushing pressure or incinerating heat. Whatever. You know what you're doing. As you buckle up and fiddle with the knobs to provide sufficient oxygen into your marshmallow track suit, the lights flicker off and the high-speed mobile phallus ejects itself skyward. None of this was supposed to happen, but you grip onto your seat and let the waves of engine noise wash over you. You've never seen the world around you shrink so quickly and begin to feel a tightness envelope your entire body. Slowly clutching you like a grip from the mighty anaconda. Light diminishes and the sky grows darker. You begin to hyperventilate and your eyes throb and shake and you swear they were looking inward upon themselves. Sparks rain all around you as the wires hiss. You take off your helmet and flame engulfs you, melting your skin and charring your skull while you're sitting there laughing. It was completely USELESS. Congratulations.
Mission Complete. You've launched yourself into oblivion.

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